How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
