He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
