I want to have your abortion
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
