You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
