I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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