i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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