We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize