either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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