that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
