he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
