awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
