He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
