Sry I called you an 8
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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