Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
