Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
