is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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