Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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