Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
