Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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