and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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