I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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