You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
