dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
