We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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