I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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