Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
