i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
