There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
