We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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