He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
And then he peed in my hair
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