fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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