3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize