And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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