VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
