What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
