Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The Olympian is in my bed
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
