this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
