I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
