we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
