smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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