what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
