Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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