Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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