So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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