Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
