i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
