is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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