she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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