So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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