You can't special order awesome
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I look better un-naked...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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