Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
