i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
