i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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