2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize