Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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