glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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