I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
