i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
did i just pee glitter
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
