i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
