...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize