I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
