she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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