I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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